# Friendships form via shared context, not shared activities | Bill Mei

<https://billmei.net/blog/friendship>

- Host: [billmei.net](https://links.thingelstad.xyz/hosts/billmei.net/)
- Saved: June 2, 2022 (2022-06-02T22:58:54Z)
- Record: https://links.thingelstad.xyz/links/997b9f29344f/
- JSON: https://links.thingelstad.xyz/links/997b9f29344f.json

## What Jamie wrote

I think this is spot on.

> That’s why friendships formed via shared interests often feel shallow. It’s because a real friend is someone who has things that can’t be listed on a résumé: trust, loyalty, love, belonging, safety, and a sense that they’ll back you up when the times get tough.
> 
> Real friendships don’t form via shared interests. They form via shared context.

This reminded me of [Al Franker's comment](https://www.startribune.com/counterpoint-al-franken-s-character-and-she-would-know/33066564/)

> My Dad is fond of saying that kids don’t need quality time with their parents — they need quantity time.

Shared interests can be the beginning hook, but your long-term friends usually have shared a lot of experiences with you. This is probably one of the reasons it is so common to establish friendships with those you work with. You spend a lot of time with them!

## Facts

- Kind: [Page](https://links.thingelstad.xyz/kinds/page/)

## Appears in

- [WT222: Weekly Thing #222 / Smalltalk, Friendships, Automata](https://weekly.thingelstad.com/archive/222/), Featured

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## Elsewhere

- Wayback Machine: https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://billmei.net/blog/friendship