Twitter will molest you.
thebloggess.com/2009/10/twitter-will-molest-you
From the page
Saved with the link. Notes from 2007 to 2016 are mostly the page's own words, so this is probably an excerpt.
Conversation between me and twitter, who is kind of an asshole:
And thats the reason why I dont like twitter. Because its judgemental and it never goes away. Its like your junior high boyfriend when youre all You hang up the phone first and hes all No, you hang up and youre like No, you hang up and he probably thinks hes being all romantic by not hanging up but you reallywant him to hang up because you have to pee and you dont want him to hear you peeing. And thats basically what twitter is all about. This is like a tutorial for people who are new to twitter. You should send new twitterers here so they wont be all freaked out when twitter starts molesting them because if youre not expecting it it can be very confusing. Like getting your first period. Basically this is the Are You There God? Its me, Margaret of the twitter world.
PS. If people try to tell you that twitter doesnt occasionally talk to you they are lying to you. Or perhaps they just arent observant enough. Or drunk enough. I dont know. Im not here to judge those people. Im here to help you. Youre welcome.